The Story Behind the Products; Chapter 4
by Gary Cohen
I was a good student in math. I’m talking arithmetic here. Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division. When I was in school, we had to memorize the multiplication tables. 8 x 8 = 64. 9 x 9 = 81. Etc. But nothing I learned in math prepared me for the “new math” of toilet paper sheet counts! 1 = 4 claim the packages. 4 = 16. No it doesn’t. 1 = 1 and 4 = 4. What the marketing geniuses are trying to say is, 1 Mega Super Jumbo Roll = 4 Not So Mega, Not So Jumbo Rolls. But even that math doesn’t add up.
Bonus Pack! Largest Roll! Double = 24
2000 free sheets!
OR 6=12
No, wait 6=24
My final answer? 6-27
WRONG 6=36!
What about 12? A dozen... 12=24
No, it doesn't 12-26!!
Of course not, silly...Everyone knows 12=54!
And if you're confused by whether 12=24, 26 or 54,
we give you more: 60% more
and does 8=16?
or does 18=32?
No. 8=48
And 36=93 but 32=105?
Where I went to school...10% more than 93 is 102.
Not 105
No wonder kids aren't good at math today.
Seriously. All of these companies are trying to convince the consumer that they offer
the best value. And it sure is hard to cut through all of the clutter in advertising.
We did it too. We shouldn't have. We will change it when we change
our packaging again.